To the Woman Feeling Alone

Don’t forget the little ones that drive you.

I hear you.

I see you.

If you never thought it could be you, that it wasn’t intentional.

I don’t shame you.

For I have been there too.

Maybe more than once.

You feel cared for, taken care of, secure.

But then a moment happens where you start to feel less secure.

Less loved.

Less stable.

Less like yourself.

But you never forget the little eyes who watch you.

The ears who hear you.

The little hearts beating out of their chest, afraid.

So you always try to deflect it, entire them to let it go and come back to this argument later.

When there are no little witnesses.

To hear the sharp words.

To see the tears and swollen eyes.

It might only be sharp words here.

Money transferred from your accounts for a few hours here and there.

Told you can leave but the car will be reported stolen.

Told the GPS wouldn’t have taken you that way.

Where did you go.

Who did you see.

Who are you texting.

Always trying to do it all at home, and never doing enough.

One day, you’ll stand up for yourself and say enough, and if you’ve been in this position.

Staying home as a mother.

You’ll feel it when it hits you.

When they show how quickly they can take it all from you.

That you are living a life that’s a gift.

You’re not entitled to it.

If you’ve ever been physically abused.

Beaten.

Strangled.

Crawled through your own blood to get your baby safe.

You know the feeling of this moment is almost equal to that near death experience.

They say leaving is the most dangerous time.

But maybe staying without the violence, can be equally as dangerous.

Instead now.

You’re threatened with losing your life in a different way.

Them.

Your baby.

Your son or daughter.

You’ll be painted as crazy.

Unstable.

As a liar.

Hysterical.

Unfit.

He could have you arrested with his lies.

He could take your child if he wanted.

At the touch of four buttons on his phone.

You are not credible.

I don’t have advice or strong words of encouragement today.

Just the strong notion that I am here. I might not see your face. But I see you, and I feel your pain.

I can hear your heartbreaking.

But never let them forget, how much you love them.

And keep fighting.

Please.